Monday, May 14, 2012

Hoodwinked by the Black Widow


The biggest lie my parents ever told me was that Santa Clause came down to 39 Woolbright Drive, every year.   When I suspected he wasn’t real (after we heard my aunt holler, “The scissors, the scissors!” on Christmas Eve Midnight, by the vicinity of the Christmas tree), I decided it was just circumstantial evidence and in anticipation of next year’s Nintendo Game and Watch, I continued to pretend I still believed in jolly old Saint Nick.  I even perpetuated the lie to my youngest sister for as long as I could. When I returned home for Christmas after a few years in college, I convinced my mom and dad, for old time’s sake, to let me hang a pillowcase (stockings were too small to accommodate anything significant) and for them to stuff it with presents.
Does it surprise you that I became a lawyer?    Didn’t think so.
Would it surprise you if I told you that you’re part of an invisible, tangled silky web of lies and that the liar of liars, the Black Widow of all lawyers, has duped you and the rest of the world into thinking what’s wrong is right?
Black Widow has told you at least one of these things: Marriage is not a Sacrament between man and woman; it’s a piece of paper.  Fetuses are not children.  Children are inconvenient, anyway.  Contraception, sterilization and in vitro fertilization are not evil solutions. Abortion, like euthanasia, is not murder.  Sacrifice is not noble. Materialism is not a false god. Pride is grand.  Chastity is old fashioned. Modesty equals frumpy-ugly. There’s no sin.  Therefore, Confession is not necessary. The Eucharist is not Jesus.  Jesus isn’t coming back. He never rose from the dead. The Church is not a respectable institution.  The Church should stay out of politics. A country that disobeys God’s laws, prospers.  You should vote for what’s best for you, not your conscience.  A vote is not counted in eternity. Nothing counts in eternity.  There is no eternity. God doesn’t exist. The king of lies doesn’t exist.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” you rebut.  “You’re the one who’s lying. You’re the lawyer.”
Fair enough.  But ever heard of the saying “it takes one to know one?”
Mmm hmmm.  Black Widow and I were so close, you wouldn’t have known where I left and she began. In fact, you’d have thought there was only me and she didn’t exist.   I believed, like every liberal, dissenting, lukewarm, Sunday Catholic who lived for self and decided without Church wisdom, only that which my narcissist self wanted to believe. The rest of my worldview was impressed upon me by Hollywood directors and actresses, popular novelists, Oprah, new age gurus, politicians, columnists, CNN commentators, science, law, and cool people.
             Subconsciously hoodwinked and obstinately self-righteous about my opinion. Guilty.
But light came.  Our Lady brought it to me.
At about the time I fell in love with my husband, I also fell in love with the Catholic Church, the true depositary of the faith.  I learned its teachings, inspired by the Holy Spirit, through saints and popes, merited more respect than the opinion of other people so misled.  More than mine. 
 Being wrong is not easy for a lawyer to admit you know, but there was the evidence plain and simple in scripture.  “You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it,”  cites Matthew 16: 18.    How could the Catholic Church, whose sole mission is to bring my soul to heaven, be so wrong on everything?  It can’t be.
I know, I know the argument. The Church has it’s members who’ve sinned, who didn’t believe Galileo when he said the earth was round, who burned Joan of Arc at the stake only to recant it and canonize her a saint, who’ve abused children and governments.  Did I ignore that?  No.  I searched for answers in Catechism and found that in all those controversial cases, the Church has never invoked the charism of infallibility.  In order to be infallible, the Pope: (1) must speak in his official capacity as the successor of Peter; (2) he must speak on a matter of faith or morals; and (3) he must solemnly define the doctrine as one that must be held by all the faithful. When the Church does invoke infallibility (also through Bishop's teaching in union with the Pope), in matters of faith and morals, the lies of Satan spun throughout history cannot overpower the truth.  He can bend, mask, sway or cover it up and persecute a Catholic, but he is no match for God.  He is certainly no match for you if you ask Our Lady to show you the truth and if you make the effort to search. 
It’s found here, here and here:

Was that too much apologetics?  Sorry.   You accused me of lawyerism, the legalist leaped out to defend Holy Mother Church.  Hi-yaaa!
Now, if you want to sit there and be lied to, it’s your call to make.  But make no mistake:  the Black Widow is merciless.  She drags her prey into her lair, where she was banished since the Rebellion in heaven, and goes for the kill by sucking the life out of it. Let the hourglass on its belly be a grave reminder:  we could be dead for eternity and we don’t have much time to lose after it punctures our flesh.
 The side I choose is truth because between hot and cold, there is spit you out of God’s mouth.  Says so in Revelations 3:16:  “Because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”  And I do not want to be the next hock-toouey when Jesus returns.  Do you?

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