I was finishing up the red carpetwalk for my book launch party when the news hit: US Supreme Court voted 5-4 that marriage was a constitutional right to LGBT.
I’d braced myself for it after the Alabama ruling, but expectation still doesn’t cushion the turmoil of feelings that come after breaking news of that sort.
So what did I do?
I cried. I cried out of fear for my children’s future, worry of religious persecution, frustration with a Supreme Court (not only stealing my book launch thunder but also) rejecting God’s and natural laws, and grief for the souls that are going to confuse legality with morality. I questioned how God could put me and my children here in this place at this time with this kind of mess on our hands.
I prayed for Divine Mercy. Condonation and legalization of sin makes us culpable and offends our Lord. In 1917, Our Lady of Fatima warned that Our Lord was already very much offended with sin. Since then, Western civilization has chosen the path of Roe and Obergefell. At what point will the cup of divine justice overflow into consequences for our free will? Divine Mercy is my hope and I also offered up my prayers and acts in reparation for sin.
I worshipped God. My instinct wanted to rush to Eucharistic Adoration but I was too agitated to adore God. The family and I went to Friday Mass. Distracted at times, but I was able to pay attention to what our wise priest said. “Everything comes with a blessing. Even sickness, even this unjust ruling. The blessing may come in the form of purification, but it is still a blessing from heaven.” It’s not easy, but I continue to worship God with praise and song. 1 Thes 5:8 “In everything, give thanks.”
I got on Facebook. I didn’t read my newsfeed until a couple of days later when the emotions didn’t run high but I logged in my wall, said my short piece, and logged out. Later, I posted a link of the USCCB’s statement with my wedding picture. I didn’t change my profile pic (because of all rotten timing, I just launched my brand on social media!), I didn’t debate. I thought about it, but I didn’t have peace to rationally approach the topic, and no one converts at snarky and angry misrepresentations of the Church. Also? I didn’t un-friend people with different opinions. I think we evangelize best when we maintain a good relationship with our circle of influence. Conversion isn’t up to us anyway. We plant seeds and pray but ultimately, the miraculous harvest of conversion is up to God.
I read scripture and private revelation. The story of Sodom and Gomorah was strangely comforting because I focused on God’s goodness in sparing Lot and his children from disaster. I am reading Volume II of Divine Inspirations by Jesus and Mary For Love of Many (With Imprimatur) and I found peace in the messages. This and other private revelations in line with scripture assured me that God has prepared a remnant faithful, a Marian army in this battle with Satan and He will guide our path and be our refuge if we are consecrated to Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart and Jesus’ Sacred Heart.
I ate Outback ribs, chocolate macarons and hugged my children. I decided to enjoy a piece of my present life (in moderation) because I don’t know when life as I know it will end. So I looked into each of my children’s faces, silently apologizing for the landscape my generation is leaving to theirs, and held them in my arms longer than usual. I shared my macarons, too.
I wrote. Because to keep calm and sort out thoughts, I write. I wrote this post for what its worth and a post for my LGBT friends/family and supporters. I don’t know if I will publish it or not, but I felt better writing it.
I trust. Because Jesus said I should. Even when everything is falling apart at the seams, Jesus I trust in you.
What did you do?